You know they say that God uses everything that happens to us for good. Up until this point I still had wondered, questioned and doubted this one particular issue that I had dealt with, going through years of sexual abuse by a woman, my day care worker who did things to me that I know now should only take place between a husband and wife.
One early morning when we were taking a street boy named Mikkious (who later became our son) to the bus station to go see his mom after being on the streets for several years,(only to find out she had died sometinme during the period of six years) we decided to go to one of our normal spots to wake up some street kids and take them to breakfast. It was in this gut wrenching moment that I knew the very reason God had possibly allowed the sin of another to intercede with my being as a 6-8 year old little girl.
We were at the spot where a group of about 12 street kids were huddled together under any type of material they could find to stay warm, for it was rainy season. We went and stood over them and just looked into their precious sleeping faces peering beyond the torn, stained, bug infested cloth. We anxiously awoke them gently, telling them to come and eat breakfast with us and then it happened, along with the 12 little street kids, they immersed like wallowing giants to my little girl again heart, two grown men. In this very blink of my eyes I knew exactly what had taken place, they were preying on these street kids and had abused them in the midst of their already dark, fearful worlds. This is the exact moment that I heard my Lord whisper “I will use your hurt and pain to bring justice to these very street kids, you must be patient and you must WAIT FOR ME”
Here we are a couple years later and I must admit it has been dreadful at times to sit and wait on God to put all the pieces together. Did I mention in that very moment I wanted to just kick their faces into the donkey poo that covered the ground I stood on and maybe just break their jaws while I was at it?
Just two weeks ago as I was on a date with my husband, ok so now-a-days we take them when we can even if it is riding in the car to get stuff for ministry just him and I. Romantic I know but even if you are not the romantic kind you will take what you can get. I told him these words “Babe I just don’t know how much longer I can just sit and do nothing.” See I had come to the point of ministry when I was literally drowning with the stories of our boys being raped by other men. My heart hurt and actually bled from the inside out. These were like pains of that of a mother unable to help her child from S-L-O-W-L-Y……… drowning in the middle of the ocean, so far away yet so close that she could see it all happening. I began to lose sleep over each story, each face, each tear and each name of that which He has brought to us.
The first cycle of street boys would come and they opened up about the abuse but mentioned it as a far away place, you know happening to all the other boys. The next cycle of street boys came in with more trust and began to pour out situations, names, places, people, groups of people and so forth. This group of boys comes in damaged, hurt and fearful of what may happen next. I go home each and every night and look into my eyes and thank God that they are not the forgotten (NO MORE) street kids that are enduring physical sexual abuse of a grown mans penis’s going into their anus. Boys that are my Gavins age, YOUR KIDS AGE, YOUR GRAND-CHILDRENS AGE, this is happening to and I refuse to sit back and let it happen!
God knows our time bombs, you know those minutes when you are about to explode and just react because you can’t freaking wait any longer on the sidelines. You are ready willing and anxious to jump in that game and get a VICTORY for the sake of THESE. Its game time baby and God knew it before I even said the words to my husband.
This week HE reacted so I didn’t have to. A huge bust took place that only God could have ordained in the manor that it did. We at Make Your Mark Ethiopia lead police to the predator’s home. They went in at the wee hours of the morning to the predators house and found around 70 street kids in his home, took him to jail and are holding him currently.
I try so hard to imagine what this scene was like and even with my experience of drugs (before Christ) and darkness I just can’t get even picture the smallest glimpse of the reality of the terror that was embarked by a shimmer of light. I imagine a drug addict, because that is what these kids are in their captivity of huffing glue lingering like crack addicts at the mercy of this man to just get one more huff so that they do not feel the pain any longer of this life they were given, willing to do whatever it takes to get one more hit, huff, high so that they may escape their reality which wants to keep them in bondage forever destroying their very purpose here on earth. For I know, I have been there.
My emotions are a freaking disaster; I can become unplugged from conversations in a split second because my mind is always wandering back. My desire is to see these kids begin the healing process, you know that relief that comes when you realize you are no longer a prisoner to yourself or someone else’s control. The fear begins to creep in whispering “you know you are in a country filled with corruption and I will do everything possible to set him free so that he can finish what he has begun in destroying these kids lives.” Then another whisper interrupts reminding me that “Where the Spirit of the Lord is there should be no fear; only hope and redemption., for it is who I AM.”
I am literally in a war zone between reality of what is taking place and finding a peace in realizing who God is and what He can do THE BROKEN, THE HURT, THE LITTLE BOYS BEING RAPED BY MEN just as HE did me, a little girl being robbed of my innocence from a woman that I am sure, that was only doing to me what was done to her. DAMN IT we must brake these chains and rebuild these kids, rebuild this system that was put in place to protect them and those who are silently sitting in places of despair because they know a dirt little secret and are doing nothing, or they themselves are being victimized.
Lord I know I am supposed to pray for this piece of crap here on earth that he may come to know you but I just can’t right now, not in this moment. I hear your truth, I promise. Please allow me time to process and actually see the healing and power of your blood in each of these boys lives and then I will submit and pray for him that will be captured and unable to hurt YOUR little street kids that you have prepared for greatness. Rise those precious little ones sweet Jesus just as you yourself rose from death to life for the Gospel to be REAL.
I give my life to you JESUS for this purpose no matter where in the world you take me, to be a voice. ……………Can you hear me???????
~carmen post~
founder & executive director
http://www.mymministries.org/#!ourteam/cyg
